Click on any photo to enlarge
STAGE
V. WINCHCOMBE 7th August 2003
Winchcombe's
opening bats made a tentative start
In
the evening, a splendid barbecue was
Tea
on first day
Relaxing
at tea
Asif
& Dom take the field
Is
Asif coming on strong?
Asif
& Owen at 20 paces
Victory
at Winchcombe
Congrats
STAGE V. GLOUCESTERSHIRE GIPSIES 2003 8th August 2003
In temperatures that would not have been out of place in Kenya's rift valley in high summer, Stage CC found themselves fielding first at Stowell Park today in their annual tour fixture against the Gloucestershire Gipsies. It is a moot point just how they found themselves fielding first on such a sultry day. Could it be that the Gipsies captain resorted to subterfuge by telephoning 8 members of his team to arrive late so that the Stage would feel morally obliged to field first, rather than bat against 3 fielders and the groundsman's black labrador whose understanding of the laws of the game was, to say the least, rudimentary? In the confucian world of friendly or social cricket are such tactics to be encouraged? asks our correspondent.
Any lingering hopes that the Stage might go for the quick kill by moving the ball around a bit in the early morning "fret" were soon dispelled by Engelbrett who plundered the Stage bowling for 145 not out and was abetted by Sharp who scored 55. Significantly, for some reason not as yet relayed to our correspondent, the Bamboozler, that doyenne of the flighted guileful off-break was held back and not brought on to bowl by Gemmill until the score was 197 for 2. Perhaps Gemmill had taken pity on the hapless Bamboozler who had a sleepless night being harassed by nocturnal Tent vandalisers. The phrase loitering with intent takes on a new meaning here. No doubt, the Bamboozler will be asked to bear a heavy burden in tomorrow's fixture against the hairy fore-armed artisan sloggers of the Ram Inn Cricket Club. But let us draw a veil over these minor cavils.
The Stage were left with 2 hours and 45 minutes playing time to score 244. Asif Padhani and Westlake were purposeful without being punitive in their pursuit of this pinnacle. Padhani ultimately paying the penalty by playing the ball on to his stumps. pausing only to pick a peck of pickled peppers on his way back to the pavilion: the prat! (Please stop pissing about with this alliterative crap and just report the match – Editor) Oldroyd, Gemmell and Isepp continued to put the Gloucester bowlers to the sword. Oldroyd completing his1,000 runs for the Stage this season. The Stage finishing the job with 4 overs to spare.
The
Stage flag is flown
Team
photo
Taking
the field
A
good job done in the field (sorry Louisa)
A
better picture of Louisa
Any
ideas who is suffering?
Asif
instructs Lord Vesty on the game of cricket
Sweet
victory on day 2
Congrats
The
Final Score
STAGE V. RAM INN 9th August 2003
Saturday proved to be a longday for the Bamboozler. He awoke from his slumbers in his Eurohike 350 tent (a 2 person geodesic affair available from Millets for £49.99p) to find a handwritten note attached to his front flap ostensibly written by the hubcaps of his car. This note informed our hero that they had all been stolen and hidden around the Evington Guest House. Had hitherto inanimate objects suddenly discovered the ability to read and write? The Bamboozler pondered on what repercussions this could have for the rest of the world. He had visions of traffic cones turning out doorstopping blockbusters to rival J.K. Rowling or Tolkien. A whole literary genre could be brought into being:"Fridge-lit" or "the metalphysicals". He had his doubts over this theory, however, when on arriving at the lavatory, so kindly provided for his exclusive use in the outbuildings of the Evington Guest House, he found one of the missing hubcaps and attempted to strike up a conversation with it. "What are you doing here?" was , unsurprisingly, the first question he asked of the wayward accessory. On receiving no reply whatsoever the Bamboozler found himself even more bamboozled than the vast number of club cricketers who have, over the years, succumbed to his wiles on the cricket field. He then began to wonder if some members of the Stage CC had taken it into their heads to play some act of deception upon him. His suspicions were further confirmed when Tristan Gemmill and Jeremy Beckman appeared the next morning and somewhat over-solicitously enquired not only about his own welfare but the welfare of his hubcaps. (Can we begin the match report – please? Ed’s note)
In an overs game of 35 overs per side Stage batted first and accrued the mighty and, as it turned out, unassailable total of 266 for 9. Highlights of the innings included a technically correct 95 from Westaway and 83 from Gemmill, the hup cap stealer. Oldroyd continue to pepper the surrounding Gloucestershire countryside with 25 in 6 deliveries and even the Bamboozler, in one of his rare innings, managed to hit the last ball of the innings over the bowler’s head for 6. One feature of the Ram Inn’s bowling was a 13 year old’s leg breaks who were treated with some circumspection by most of the Stage batsmen. In a moment of rare abandon, the hub cap stealer threw caution to the winds and opened the bowling with the Bamboozler. (Could this moment of generosity, on the part of the captain, have been generated by a guilty conscience?) Whatever, the Bamboozler served up a heady cocktail of cunningly flighted off-spin which had the spectator reminiscing of such former Gloucestershire heroes as Goddard, Allen and Mortimore. In his 8 allotted overs, the Bamboozler removed the cream of the Ram Inn batting with figures of 3 for 30. At the other end that well-known embezzler of vehicle accessories, Gemmill, took 4 for 24.
The Ram Inn’s reply was 177. Again our 13 year old hero batted not unlike a Hammond or a Jessop and produced a forward defensive that would not have been out of place in the ECB Coaches Handbook.
Libations were taken after the game at the home team’s eponymous headquarters in Bussage and some members of the visiting team sang songs. As this is a family website and not subject to screening for unsuitable content, I do not intend to dwell on the quality or otherwise of the lyrics or musicality of these songs. Suffice it to say, we are grateful to one “Arfur – available for all occasions” for his accompaniment on his Roland XP71.
STAGE V. ROYAL HOUSEHOLD 10TH August 2003
The verdant splendour of Windsor Castle Grounds provided the perfect backdrop for the Stage's final tour match against the Royal Household. The Stage found themselves fielding first in the furnace-like heat, just 11 hours after they had been carousing and Karaoking in the confines of a Cotswold hostelry which paid scant regard to the Gloucestershire licensing laws. Despite an understandable lethargy and general torpor in their demeanour, the Stage's bowling probed the soft underbelly of the Household's batting and reduced them to 93 for 6. At this point, however, a pugnacious seventh wicket stand managed to restore their innings to a respectable 191 for 7 declared.
A glittering array of comestibles awaited the Stage for their interval tea. If this was a ploy by the Royal household to handicap the Stage batting by tempting them to consume more smoked salmon, quiche lorraine and coffee creme cake than was good for them, it must be said that the plan failed dismally as first Asif Padhani, then Oldroyd then Isepp gave the Household's bowling a stiff examination and found it wanting. There seems to be no end to the rich vein of form Oldroyd is currently enjoying. One can only speculate on the secret of his success: could it be an unbroken diet of marmite and brussels sprout puree sandwiches that enables Oldroyd to score so many runs? I think we should be told the Stage batsmen approached victory with as much inevitablity and efficiency as the Tokyo-Osaka express and arrived at their destination with 11 overs left.
And so the Stage 2003 tour draws to a close with 4 wins out of 4 games. The highlight of the entire tour was provided by the evergreen John Hoare, who, belying his not inconsiderable age, produced a salmon-like leap of quite astonishing proportions, to catch a hard-hit pull at square leg to dismiss Winchcombe’s no. 6. For a brief moment, the ghost of Jonty Rhodes was seen haunting this mid-week game of club cricket in rural Gloucestershire. Long may it remain to do so.
Team
Photo at Windsor
Royal
Household Centenary presentation
Jim
reads the days match report
Happy
Chaps
The
2003 Stage Tour comes to an end!!